


Spring and Easter Drabbles

by NaughtyPastryChef



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Caffeine Addiction, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:24:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 7,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyPastryChef/pseuds/NaughtyPastryChef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>30 days (ish) of Easter and Spring drabbles. Most, if not all, will be McKirk. All of the g-rated ones will also be posted on my tumblr, if anyone is interested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waiting in Line to buy candy

“Good lord above could this line be any longer?”

“...Seriously Bones? You’ve been whining like Joanna since we left the house.”

“Yeah, well I’d like to see how well you’d be doin in my place.”

“I’m doing just fine Bones and I’ve been doing all the same things as you.”

“...Jesus H Christ, is that old bag at the front of the line counting out pennies or what?”

“I really don’t think you should be taking the lord’s name in vain the day before Easter Bones.”

“Oh really infant?”

“Hahahaha, yeah really. Bring it on old man, you’ve been spoiling for a fight for weeks.”

“OKay Jim, let’s do this.”

Bones threw down the easter basket and all of the candy he’d been holding with a gleeful look in his eye. Jim returned the look and threw the stuffed bunnies he’d been holding over his shoulder, hitting an old man three people ahead of them in line. Jim tackled Bones to the ground making a mess.

“And that’s why we aren’t allowed to go to Walgreens any more, right Jim?”

“At least they let us leave with the candy right Bones? Hey, could you pass me over a peanut butter cup? ”


	2. Rabbit Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not what you think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I hope y'all get the references here! I'll be totally disappointed if you dont!!!

“Be vewwy, vewwy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits.” Jim whispered theatrically to Joanna as he snuck around the living room. She giggled loudly and looked towards the door, hoping that her daddy wouldn’t come home yet as she cuddled her new bunny in her arms and stroked his soft ears.

Papa Jim had taken her to a petting zoo and she’d fallen in love with the rabbits. They were so cute and fluffy and she wanted one so much! Papa Jim knew Daddy would be mad about it, but he bought her one anyway.

Actually, Jim had fallen hard for those little bunnies too and had bought three of them home with them. And two of them, Babs and Buster, had escaped. Bugs was still safely snuggled into Joanna’s arms as she watched the door for Bones, while Jim crawled around the floor looking for the the others.

He’d started calling out “here bunny, bunny, bunny” in desperation when he heard Joanna shrieking. He looked up from his spot in the middle of the living room floor to see Bones, frowning harder than usual, as he held Babs and Buster into his muscled arms.

“Elmer Fudd is a better hunter than you are Jim.”


	3. Fertility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter NOtes for details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we all got this drabble prompt list for this challenge. And this particular prompt came very close to my heart. It hit me hard. Features fem!kirk and it is not happy, or fluffy. I had a different ending in mind at first, but could not force myself to add it. Sometimes, there is not a happy ending.

It hurt. There was no denying it. Jaime Kirk had always wanted kids even if she had a difficult time picturing herself as “mommy”. She had the Enterprise and her crew and her friends. And she had Bones. Bless that man for being everything that she wanted and needed.

The radiation from the warp core had sterilized her. When they’d finally decided to “retire” and have a family, it had been a black cloud over the whole thing. An entire winter had seen her in a terrible depression. Janice and Christine had both offered to surrogate for them but...Jaime didn’t want her babies with Bones growing in someone else’s body. It was stupid and she knew it but her little baby deserved as much normal as it could get with her and Bones as it’s parents.

She came out of her funk in the spring. Just in time to watch Mother Nature bloom with new life. Just in time for everywhere she turned to remind her of her failure as a woman.

Then, one day while they were visiting, Uhura and Spock announced that they were pregnant. Jaime pasted a smile on her face even as her throat closed up and her eyes watered. She excused herself from the room and locked herself into the bedroom.

Bones opened the door to the bedroom and crossed the room on silent feet to sit next to her. He ran a hand across her back and she fell into him. He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

“I just...I am happy for them.” She said softly into the skin of his neck. She felt him nod and tighten his arms around her as he began to rock them softly from side to side. He said nothing. He always denied it, but there would always be a fear that he’d decide to leave her due to her failure at being a woman. She held tight to him.

“Darlin, they know you’re happy for them. They understand what’s going on. They’re our friends.” Jaime let go of what control she had left and sobbed into Bones’ shirt as he rocked her like a child.

She could see their baby in her mind; her smile and Bones’ lips. Her nose and Bones’ eyes. Bones’ coloring and her hair. She grieved for the baby in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel silly saying this but...if this has hurt, offended or upset anyone I am sorry. Writing should come from the heart and this really does. If, however, this affected you in any other way, I invite you to come find me over at tumblr as nerdygeekypastrychef and we can chat.


	4. Getting a bunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy, lovely fluff is back kids! I promise, I don't have another one like yesterday's drabble in store for y'all.

Two faces. Two faces with big, pleading puppy dog eyes and nearly identical pouts on their faces. And that was what finally convinced him.

Not the whining.

Not the pleading.

Not the promises of chores being done.

Not the promises of various sexual fantasies being acted out upon his person.

But the fact that Leonard McCoy looked into his daughter’s face, then into his husband’s face and saw the same features, though they didn’t share a single strand of DNA.

It broke him.

IN the best possible way.

“All right you two, we can get a bunny.”


	5. Jim's Lent Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today and tomorrow are two parts of a set. Bones goes in for the Lent thing, Jim doesn't. Here's what happens when Bones dares Jim to give something up with him.

Day 1- I dunno about the whole “God” thing but Bones dared me and I’m not gonna turn down a dare from that old man! No chocolate-in any form- for 40 days. No worries, I’m James Tiberius Kirk.

Day 3- Want it. Need it. Chocolate you’re my only friend.

Day 10- Have decided that sucking Bones off is delicious but not as good as chocolate.

Day 13- Fucking Uhura had a mocha with breakfast this morning. I almost killed her.

Day 17- Miss chocolate.

Day 20- Miss chocolate.

Day 23- Gaila was wearing cocoa butter lotion today. That bitch.

Day 25- Stalked Gaila around campus today just to sniff her. Bones laughed until he cried. Bastard! What does everyone hate me?

Day 29- CHOCOLATE

Day 31- Had a dream last night involving Bones’ naked body and a bottle of Hershey’s syrup. Came in my boxers. Am unsure if it was because of Bones or the remembered taste of chocolate. Nine more days of this hell.

Day 33- Have stopped going to the store. Too much temptation. Chocolate is in everything.

Day 37- didn’t even know there was such a thing as Chocolate Stout beer...Maybe I’ll try it Easter morning.

Day 39- Have stocked up for tomorrow. Coffee for Bones, box of cocoa puffs and pile of peanut butter eggs for me. Hands off till tomorrow Kirk! PRIDE IS AT STAKE!!!!

Day 40- Ate entire box of cocoa puffs dry, straight from box with my hands. I feel sick. I REGRET NOTHING!!!! CHOCOLATE YOU’RE MY ONLY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Bones Lent Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of yesterday's drabble from Bones' POV.

Day1- I can do this. It’s only 40 days without coffee. No problem. I mean, I was 18 before I touched the stuff. 40 days is nothing compared to 18 years.

Day 4- Headaches have started. Need caffeine. Holy hell, how do people do this?

Day 9- Can’t. Keep. Eyes. Open. So sleepy.

Day 10- Blowjobs are an excellent morning substitute for coffee. God bless Jim Kirk and his mouth.

Day 12- Fucking Kirk and his god damned sex drive. Up all thrice damned night!

Day 17- Tea is disgusting when not sweet and iced.

Day 23- Have begun biting my nails. Disgusting habit and can’t fucking stop. More than half way there.

Day 25- Feel great. Sleeping really well without all that caffeine in my system.

Day 29- Been running every morning for the last week. I may never drink coffee again. Feel awesome.

Day 33- Coffee? Nah! I’ll stick with my water thanks. Even the smell doesn’t bother me anymore. Can’t believe I drank it.

Day 35- Feel better than I have in 20 years. Sleeping great. Exercising daily. Eating healthy.

Day 37- Loving life!!!!!

Day 39- Jim bought my favorite coffee beans as a treat for tomorrow. Don’t even think I want them.

Day 40- I’m a fucking liar who lies. Drank entire pot of coffee while standing at the counter and growling at Jim every time he even looked in the direction of the percolator. I think my heart might explode.


	7. Dress shopping

“Daddy I LOVE this one!” Joanna yelled from the dressing room. Bones sighed softly as he moved Davy from his left to his right shoulder and looked around for his wayward husband. They were supposed to be shopping together for an Easter dress for Joanna.

Instead of that, Jim had dumped Davy in his arms, their bags on the floor and vanished as soon as Jo had stepped into the dressing room. Bones huffed softly, trying not to wake Davy.

“C’mon out an show me Jo-Bear.” He finally answered, then gasped as he caught sight of his baby girl. Well, not so much a baby anymore. Joanna stood tall and poised, barely showing a hint of the awkward, gangly tom-boy he knew her to be.

“You look gorgeous baby girl.” She smiled shyly and twirled in her dress, the skirt of the dress flaring out as she did so. Bones felt his lip wobble.

“Daddy can I get this one?” Bones nodded and sniffled even as he cursed himself for being overly emotional. She smiled brightly and threw her arms around his neck, being careful not to wake Davy.

“Thanks Daddy.” She said before turning around to change back into her shorts and tee-shirt.


	8. Bunny Bones

Easter at the Kirk-McCoy ranch was usually the highlight of the year for so many of the couples and children of the Enterprise families. Everyone who’d ever served under James Tiberius Kirk-McCoy was invited.

The kids especially loved “Captain Uncle Jim” as the Easter Bunny. He played with them, did the bunny hop, led conga lines, took pictures with them and was generally the life of the party.

Unfortunately, just before this particular Easter celebration, Captain Uncle Jim had fallen off a ladder and broken his ankle. Jim took the disability pretty hard, but not as hard as Doctor Uncle Leo.

“Jim you gotta be kiddin me! I aint dressin up as the Easter Bunny! No how, no way. We c’n hire someone if it’s that important to you.”

Jim said nothing to his husband, but he didn’t really have to. He lay on the couch, broken ankle wrapped and elevated and just looked at his Bones. Made his eyes big. Wobbled his plush lower lip. Blinked and brought tears up. And began to grin evilly when his husband stormed from the room, grumbling obscenities.

If anyone noticed that the Easter Bunny was a little stiff that year, no one said. No one mentioned that, even through the full head of the costume, the Easter Bunny was clearly scowling. And no one certainly mentioned the growly voice of the Easter Bunny, in a southern drawl, cursing a certain “clumsy, idiotic, childish Starfleet Captain.”


	9. Face Painting

“Oh look Daddy! Papa! A face painter! I wanna get my face painted, please???” Joanna yelled as she dragged her fathers along at the church fair.

Bones smiled indulgently at his baby when she sat in the chair and looked at all of the things they had on display for what they could do. She tapped her lips with one tiny finger in thought; something made Bones’ eyes shine as she’d picked that up from his husband. He turned to say something to his sweetheart only to see that Jim was seated in the chair next to Jo.

“I wanna be a Klingon.” Bones covered his face with his hand, trying to regain his suddenly vanished composure.

“So sorry Sir, I can’t do that.” Jim sighed and looked crestfallen as Bones inwardly jumped for joy. His glee was shortlived when he saw the painter gesture Jim to lean in closer.

“I could do Romulan facial tattoos though...” Bones groaned and nearly had a heart attack when that was what his baby girl decided on too.

“I wanna look like Papa!”

Thirty minutes later Bones, with an epic scowl on his face, escorted his two “Romulans” off church property.


	10. Disastrous Baking

Jim watched as Bones ran himself ragged trying to get everything ready for the big Easter celebration at their house. They were expecting more than fifty people and Jim didn’t know what he could do to help; but he had to do something.

So early Easter morning, at about 3 am, Jim slipped out of bed and left his sleeping husband with a kiss on the forehead as he headed down to the kitchen. He could get all of the baking done for Bones before his lovely husband even woke up for the day. It was a brilliant plan. He had a recipe; he’d watched Bones cook before; how hard cold it be? It was just some frosted sugar cookies.

Three hours later, the silent morning was interrupted yet again by Jim as he swore inventively and scrambled to shut off the smoke alarm in the kitchen. All of the windows were wide open as well as the door that led to the front porch.

Three hours, four pounds of butter, and entire bag of flour and countless eggs had been sacrificed. The result was a large pile of cookies that were not quite cooked enough and an equally large pile of cookies that were cooked too much. And, a James Tiberius Kirk-McCoy in a black mood to rival the worst of his husband’s.


	11. Peins Cottontail

Bones woke to the feeling of something soft and quite wonderful around his swiftly hardening cock. He smiled without opening his eyes.

Jim had taken to waking him up with hand jobs since they’d decided to try dating each other and it made Bones more of a morning person than he’d been since he hit double digit ages. He kept his eyes closed and allowed the feeling of Jim’s hands on his cock and smiling lips on his hip wake him fully.

When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at what Jim was doing, he groaned. And not in a good way.

“What. The.Fuck. Jim?” He gritted out as he looked at the tiny bunny ears on the cock ring Jim had slipped onto him.

“Happy Easter Bones.” Jim smiled.


	12. Allergies

They’d been so eager for Shore Leave that Leo forgot to check what time of year it was back on Earth. A whole month had been granted to them while the Enterprise went through standard repairs and updates. He’d been writing Joanna constantly back and forth, and their little girl was so excited to have them home for such a long time. Leo even decided to take her out of school for a two weeks so they could enjoy being a family for a little while before he and Jim had to head back out.

He cursed himself for pleading with Jim to spend the whole time in Georgia. He’d forgotten. He felt awful.

The cursed yellow pollen falling like snow from the Live Oak trees.

It covered everything. There was a yellow film across the land. And Jim, sweet, childish Jim was so allergic to it. Joanna and Bones were affected, sure, but they were used to it, mostly.

As soon as they’d stepped off the shuttle from San Francisco, Jim started scratching at his neck and face. Then his ears. Bones had to keep pulling his hands away from his face. Then the sneezing started. Jim’s face was swollen. His sinuses were swollen. His eyes swelled to nearly shut.

Bones hypoed him with the standard antihistamine, but all that did was make Jim sleep. Jim slept for the first four days of their leave while Leo fretted and Joanna plotted. On day five, when he awoke, Bones and Joanna were packed and ready to go.

“No, but I thought we were gonna stay at home.” Jim whined miserably. Bones shook his head and Joanna marched over to the bed to pat her papa on the head.

“Daddy pulled me out of school. C’mon papa, we packed for you. We’re gonna go have fun.” Jim looked at Bones in confusion.

“It’s not much fun if you’re miserable darlin. C’mon, I let Joanna pick where we were gonna go.”

Home wasn’t a place for Jim, Leo and Joanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up somewhere I didn't intend it to but *shrug* you gotta let the stories tell themselves, yeah?


	13. Easter Eggs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a fairly obscure reference here...I didn't want to name it outright. Most of y'all reading this will get it but...ask me if you're curious. Personally, I think its funny. All praise should, by rights, go to wewillspockyou as I was struggling with drabble writing and she gave me this little prompt.

Every year, since the first year they spent together, Bones got Jim an Easter basket for Easter morning. Though the items changed through the years, there was one constant; an egg.

Sometimes it was a chocolate egg.

Sometimes it was a plastic egg with a treat inside.

But every year, without fail, nestled into the plastic green grass of the basket was an egg. Jim liked the peanut butter cups and jelly beans; the silly little toys and the flowers but his favorite part was always the egg. It was special, though neither of them knew why exactly.

This year, Bones had out done himself. Nestled carefully into Jim’s Easter basket was a gorgeous, hand painted blue, decorative egg that Bones had found at a alien bazaar on the last shore leave they’d had. He’d seen it and instantly knew he had to get it for Jim. It was perfect. It had been hidden in his underwear drawer for months.

It matched Jim’s eyes and Bones couldn’t wait to see Jim’s face when he saw it.

Unfortunately for Bones, he and Jim had been on opposite rotations for weeks now and Jim had picked up an old book series that he loved in his spare time. He tore through the beloved books; it had been so long since he’d read them that it was like reading them for the first time.

So, when Jim awoke on Easter morning and his eyes fell on the basket, Bones hear the strangest words come out of Jim’s mouth.

“I am the blood of the dragon.”


	14. Spring Cleaning

“I call this family meeting to order. Now, when I was growin up this time of year meant one thing. Anyone wanna take a guess?” Leo eyed his family sitting around the table and knew that not one of them would get the right answer.

“Easter!” Davy cried from his high chair. He smiled at his baby boy and shook his head no.

“Playing outside again!” Yelled seven year old Siobhan. He smiled at the little girl with his husband’s beautiful blue eyes and shook his head no again.

“Candy? Ohhhh, Daddy can we get some peeps?” Joanna piped up from her seat. She was becoming quite the beautiful young woman at fifteen, and he indulged her horribly. So did Jim, come to think of it.

“If we get this all done, then yes Jo-bear, we can go get some peeps. Jim, you wanna take a shot?” His husband looked steadily across the table at him. He smiled back serenely. Jim squinted and tilted his head to the side.

“It’s something not fun isn’t it?” He guessed and Bones felt the smile split his face.

“SPRING CLEANIN! Everyone’s got at least one room to help out with. Now, if we all pitch in we can have it done in a weekend. Y’all each have your bedroom to clean, plus I want old clothes and toys that no one plays with anymore. Jo-Bear I need you to help Davy as your additional room. Siobhan, you’re gonna help Papa in the den. I’ve got the kitchen and the cellar. Now, here’s some cleaning supplies for everyone. Time to get to work.”

Even Davy whined as they left the table.


	15. Easter Dinner

Bones dragged himself home from a nightmarish shift at Starfleet Medical, dreading what he might find in the apartment. Jim had been home alone all day while Bones was busy dealing with chocolate overdoses, jelly beans stuck in nostrils and ears and heat exhaustion caused by grown adults spending the day in giant bunny suits.

He’d actually forgotten that it was Easter.

He walked into their shared apartment to find Jim seated at a beautifully set table complete with candles, flowers and delicious smelling food. Bones paused in amazement.

“I knew it would be a long day for you, so I made you a romantic, candelit dinner. Dessert will be served in the bedroom. Not a jelly bean in sight.” Jim said with a grin on his face. Bones felt every tension in his whole body melt away.

He leaned down to kiss Jim as he pulled his scrub top off over his head and toss it towards the hamper. He sat down at the table, after washing his hands, and enjoyed the delicious dinner that Jim made for them. 

It was the perfect antidote to his long day. They retired to the bedroom where, as Jim promised, there were no jelly beans but there was a pot of Chocolate body paint on the bedside table.

When Bones got up to use the bathroom and grab a glass of water later he found the take-out containers in the kitchen. He smiled to himself as he looked at the logo of his favorite restaurant. He couldn’t even be mad; he knew that red sauce had tasted familiar.


	16. spring rain

“C’mon Bones! It’s the first day of spring! And it just so happens to be the most beautiful day I’ve seen in months. Let’s open the windows in here to air it out and go for a walk down on the pier.” Bones couldn’t refuse Jim when he looked like an over eager puppy, so he smiled and pulled on some clothes as Jim opened up the windows for some fresh air.

They walked for hours, meandering aimlessly and talking. Their shoulders brushed frequently as they walked and Bones blushed every time.

Jim felt like more than a best friend to him. Jim felt like everything to him. He wanted more, but didn’t know how to ask. Going from roommates, to best friends to lovers didn’t work out all that well for Bones the last time around. His heart was still healing and he could never tell if he was even reading the signs right.

Suddenly, it started to rain. Bones grumbled and moved a little faster to try and reach the awning on the building in front of him. When he got there, he turned to tell Jim about actually checking the weather before saying what a gorgeous day it was, when he realized that he was alone. He looked back to where he’d walked from and saw Jim.

He was standing stock still in the rain, eyes closed but face upturned to the sky. And he was smiling like Bones had never seen him smile before. He was enraptured by the picture that Jim made, standing there in the rain, smiling like a fool.

He walked back over to him before he’d realized that he was even moving.

They stood in the warm, spring rain just enjoying the moment. Taking joy in something as small as how good the water felt falling on their raised faces.

Bones felt damp hands on his neck, tugging at him. He turned his head down again and opened his eyes to meet Jim’s. Jim surged forward and kissed him, standing there in the spring rain.


	17. Mama's Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot to post yesterday! So today you get a double! A sad and a happy chapter!

Bones sniffled miserably and tried not to start crying again. He tried to think of something else but he was standing at his mother’s grave; it was hard not to focus on that. He choked on a nervous laugh as he thought about how much she would hate this; being buried in a warm spring rain.

This was her favorite time of year; she loved these warm spring rains. She gardened right through the rain, smiling up at the wet sky. Her garden, he had to remember to fix up her garden. She wouldn’t be very happy with him if he let it go to ruin. Though he supposed it was his garden now. He’d never been all that good with gardens. He’d been better with anything else around the house.

Maybe Jim would help him get in touch with Sulu to come and make the garden perfect for his mama. She’d really like that. All the amazing things that he could do with her garden. Colors and scents that she’d never even imagined in her little house plot. He turned to Jim to ask him about it.

Jim’s eyes were red and watery. His face was flushed and swollen from crying. And all of a sudden it hit Bones again. His mama was gone. His mama was gone forever at her favorite time of year.

It was really not okay.


	18. Egg Hunt

The “First Annual Ship-Wide Easter Egg Hunt” was a good idea. In theory. Jim snuck around the corridors, hiding from the crew members and on a mission for one thing; the eggs that Bones had hidden.

See, it started off as something harmless, something to bring a little camaraderie and brighten up the crew’s days. Every department was in charge of hiding brightly colored Easter eggs with something inside of them. Favors being offered, trinkets collected from alien planets, candy, whatever they decided upon. Jim himself had given a lot of extra water rations in his own. But it had turned into something else entirely.

For some reason, medical had only used blue eggs, command only gold, engineering only red and so on and so forth. It had gone from a fun game to some kind of awful version of capture the flag where one department was on a mission to get all of the eggs from another. Jim still was rather vague on the details about how that had happened.

He dropped to his belly and military crawled along the darkened corridor. He edged up so that he could see around the corner; no on was there. He shot to his feet and made a break for the doorway just up ahead.

All of the eggs had to be hidden in common, easily accessible areas. No hiding all of your offered “favors” in your private quarters where no one could get to them. As the rules had changed, so had Jim’s strategy. Then, two nights ago, at dinner with Bones, Spock, Uhura and Sulu, Bones had thrown down the gauntlet.

“Well, I’m putting some extra special stuff in my eggs. Been workin on them for quite a while. Whoever gets all of the ones that I hide is in for a real treat.” He said offhandedly as he stared at his plate.

Jim was intrigued. He had to have them all. He wanted special treats from Bones that didn’t involve physicals and hypo-sprays. He’d then decided to add one more thing to the challenge.

“Oh, in that case, we all really should sign the eggs. You know...so that people can each other when they are granted favors and the like.” Jim tried, and failed, to sound casual about it. Uhura wasn’t fooled but kept her peace. She, unlike anyone else at the table, knew what their CMO was doing. He’d confided in her as soon as they’d learned about the egg hunt.

So now, after three hours of searching, Jim had found forty-five medical blue eggs and discarded all but six of them; the six that had Bones’s initials on the outside. Jim had one more place to search for the last four- everyone had only hidden ten eggs total.

Seven and Eight he found easily, hiding in plain sight. He wondered aloud about the rest of his staffers ignoring them. What he didn’t know was that Bones had set the eggs out just for him, and warned every single person on the ship to leave them alone, lest they incur the wrath of the man who did their physicals.

Nine was also fairly easy to find, balanced precariously on the door controls to the CMO’s office in Medbay. Jim fretted about trying to find the last one. He didn’t know why it was so important that he be the one to find all of Bones’s eggs, but he knew that it was. He searched for another hour to no avail and was heading back to his quarters in defeat, when he saw it. It was placed on the floor in front of his door, with a note attached.

-Open this one first-

Jim picked it up and brought them all into his quarters. He dumped them all on the couch and sat down, rolling the one that he’d been ordered to open first in his hands. He twisted the two pieces of plastic and watched as a note fell out of it and into his lap. With trembling hands he unfolded it to read.

-I hope you got all 10, Jimmy. Otherwise some lucky   
crew member is gonna get some stuff from me that   
you may not them to B-

“Huh, that’s interesting.” Jim said aloud to himself before he could stop it. He really needed to stop talking to himself. He picked up another one and saw a tiny number “4“ marked on it. He searched through the pile to find the “2“. Another note.

-This card entitles James Kirk to one shore leave meal  
entirely on me. Drinks included. B-

Jim laughed aloud; like that wouldn’t happen anyway. He and Bones always spent shore leave together and traded off who would buy. It’s easier than splitting the check. He found number “3“.

-This card entitles James Kirk to one physical with no  
hyposprays directed at his person. Even though I think  
he’s a big baby about it. B-

Jim was starting to see a trend in the cards and felt his heart rate pick up. He knew what he was hoping to find, but wasn’t sure if he was on the right track or not. He picked up “4“ again.

-This card entitles James Kirk to one public display  
of affection from me, Leonard McCoy. Don’t  
waste it kid. B-

Huh, that was kind of weird. Bones hated public displays of affection. Even just hugging. Jim had always been a tactile person and, at first, he’d taken it personally that Bones would shrug out from under his arm when he slung it across his shoulders. Eventually Jim had understood, Bones just really valued his “personal bubble” but he let Jim inside of it more than anyone else.

He picked up the “5“ and it felt like there was something inside of it. He cracked the plastic egg open and found a little chocolate Hershey’s kiss. There was no note this time. He unwrapped the treat and popped it in his mouth as he reached for the next egg. This one had a handful of jelly beans in it. He piled them on the table for when he was done with his kiss and reached for the “7“.

-This card entitles James Kirk to one real kiss at  
a time of his own choosing. B-

Jim’s heart leapt into his throat. Bones wanted a kiss from him? Maybe he’d been right, maybe they had been flirting off and on for years and years. Jim sat back for a moment as he savored the little chocolate kiss and gave himself over to his favorite fantasy of kissing Bones. He thought Bones would taste even sweeter than the candy. He eagerly reached for “8“.

-This card entitles James Kirk to one backrub  
with the provision that it be conducted in   
privacy and not my Medbay, Dammit. B-

Bones gave the best backrubs in the history of the world. The feel of Bones’ legendary hands on his back had given Jim many self induced orgasms over the years. Jim really liked the feeling of Bones’ hands on him. He picked up the second to last egg.

-Pick up number 10 and bring it into your  
bedroom. B-

Jim froze for a second. Was Bones in his bedroom? Had Bones been in there the whole time? He slowly picked up the final egg and walked into his bedroom as slowly as he could. Bones was, in fact, sitting on his bed in the darkened room. He held his hand out and Jim handed over the final egg while ordering the lights up to 50 percent.

“So, I’ve been sitting here doin some thinkin. First thing I’m thinkin is that I didn’t read the signs wrong, did I?” Bones began, not moving from his perch in the center of Jim’s bed. Jim blinked and tried to focus on his words and not the image of Bones in his bed.

“No...you, uh, you really didn’t.” Jim watched a slow smile spread across Bones’ face. He raised his hand with the final egg in it and pulled the halves apart. Inside was another scrap of paper, but instead of holding it out to Jim, he opened it and read it aloud.

“This card entitles James Kirk to one night of cuddling, which I know you love even though you’re a big, bad starship captain, with me Leonard McCoy. And it’s gonna happen right now.” Jim scrambled onto the bed and knelt facing Bones.

“Can I redeem another one of the cards first?” Bones’ smile, if even possible, got wider as he nodded his ascent. Jim scrambled to find the right one and held it out to Bones. It was the kiss.

“C’mere kid.” Bones whispered.


	19. Basket Weave

He had the steadiest hands in all of Starfleet; Legendary Hands. Surely he could handle this one simple thing, Bones thought to himself as he gripped the bag of frosting in his hands and looked from the tutorial to the partially frosted cake in front of him and back again.

He didn’t want to make Joanna a traditional Easter basket, so he’d decided to make an Easter Basket Cake. How hard could it be, he thought. How hard could it be indeed, he mocked himself.

If he followed the instructions it was just a matter of frosting with alternating dashes, flipping the frosting tip over each time to change the pattern. It looked simple, easy. He could do this; he was no stranger to baking.

An hour later, he had one third of the basket weave done and was swearing up a storm. His hair was frazzled, shirt covered with frosting and his ‘legendary hands’ were cramped and he had a newfound respect for the people who did this for a living and made it look as easy as the tutorial had.

He looked up from his contemplation of the disaster of a cake when he heard a sound from the doorway. Jim was standing there, one hip cocked as he stood in the doorway laughing. Bones scowled at him.

“You think this is funny? You wanna try it Jimmy?” Bones growled at him as he went back to what he was doing. You’d think after an hour it would be easier, but somehow it just got more dizzying.

“Nah, Bones I’m good watching. Why not just get her a regular basket instead of doing this to yourself?” Bones blew out a breath from between his clenched teeth and grabbed the spatula to scrape the last row of weaving off the cake.

“Oh shut up Captain.” Jim just laughed and kept on watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who didn't know, my name is not just a witty name; I am Actually a pastry chef. Having said that- I DESPISE basket weave. It is dizzying the first few times you do it, even though it looks super easy. I found a link for a tutorial
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE4hBly_F7w
> 
> So that y'all can get the image in your heads of Bones trying to do this. Legendary Hands or not, it's not that easy. PS- the lady doing the tutorial is actually terrible at it. LMAO


	20. Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Easter Sunday I'm posting one of the first chapters I wrote for this challenge. Y'all don't wanna hear all about my beliefs but I'm just gonna say that I've based Bones's opinions on my own feelings on the matter.

Church was not something in Leonard McCoy’s normal repertoire. Anyone who spent more than five minutes in his presence, especially if his husband was there, knew that he took the Lord’s name in vein often and fluently. However, he’d been raised Southern Baptist and that was not something that just went away.

So twice a year, Christmas and Easter, he would make sure that he got his misbehaving behind to church. It felt good, restful, peaceful to be in a place of worship. To spend and hour or two reciting the Bible from memory, singing songs of praise, and being with a whole bunch of other people who felt the same way. He wanted to thank God for all of the good things in his life.

On this particular year, Easter fell during shore leave, shortly after he and Jim were married. He took Jim to their home in Georgia and went about finding when Easter services were to be held in the church he grew up in.

Easter Sunday dawned hot but, with a smile on his face and in his heart, he dressed in his Sunday best and dragged his non-believing husband to Church.

The tiny church just outside of Savannah was packed to the rafters. The windows were open, letting in a barely there breeze from the ocean. It was stifling and Jim was fidgeting in his suit. Bones hushed him and handed him the program for the day to fan himself with.

Jim tugged at his collar; it was too tight. He flapped the sides of his suit jacket; it was stifling. He wiped sweat from his forehead; he turned red in the face; he closed his eyes and preyed for some relief from the heat as his new husband sat next to him with a small smile on his handsome face and wonder in his eyes. Jim focused on Bones instead of the heat.

When they were leaving, Jim finally broke down and asked the question that had crossed his mind when he’d been informed of how they were going to spend the morning.

“How can you...I mean. I thought you were a man of Science, dammit Jim?” Bones stopped walking and turned to Jim with the same peaceful smile on his face.

“I am a man of science Jim, but there’s wonder out there too. You’ve seen it with your own eyes. After some of the things we’ve already seen and the countless things we’re gonna see in the future...don’t you think there might be a God? Creating all of this beauty and wonder?” Jim took in the look on his husband’s face and sent up a silent prayer of thanks himself.

“Yeah, Bones, when you put it that way...I have to agree.” He leaned forward to press his sweaty lips to his husband’s.


	21. Eskimo Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more fic to add tomorrow, then I'll be taking a break from daily posting for a while while I work on a few multi-chapter fics. Thanks so much to everyone who's read and commented on these.
> 
> This one is specifically for Wewillspockyou, who had an 80 degree day, followed immediately by more snow. Sorry darlin!!!! Winter is almost over, I swear!!!!

“Two days ago it was eighty degrees! What the shit is this?” Jim whined as he tried to get the old truck to turn over so that it could warm up a little bit. Bones laughed from the passenger seat, even as his teeth were chattering. His hands were tucked up in his armpits for warmth as he huddled in the threadbare jacket; the only jacket the two of them had thought to bring.

“You grew up here darlin, I thought you’d know how to prepare for the weather.” Bones replied as Jim finally got the truck to turn over. He cranked the heat as high as it would go before turning to his boyfriend, who was starting to turn blue around the edges with cold.

“It’s spring Bones! I thought it would be warm during the day and cool at night, not snowing! Stupid Iowa. Next time we have a Spring Break from the academy we’re going somewhere warm. If you don’t wanna go to Georgia we’ll go to the Bahamas or something.” He leaned over and rubbed his nose along side Bones’s. His boyfriend raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled back and yanked at the door to get it open so that he could clean the snow off the car.

“Wha’ was that Jimmy?” Bones asked softly as he finally began to thaw in the heat from the car vents.

“Eskimo Kisses.” Jim shot him a sunny smile and darted out of the truck to clean it off as Bones smiled and sank back into the seat.


	22. Spring Fever

“Attention Crew this is your Captain speaking. Due to increasingly disturbing reports from both First Officer Spock and Chief Medical Officer McCoy we have determined that the ship is suffering from a bit of spring fever. In order to counteract this, we have decided that we shall have a ship-wide, mandatory participation Talent Contest. Spock, Doctor McCoy and I feel that this is the best way for everyone to work off their excess energy. As I said, participation is mandatory so if you do not feel comfortable performing in front of your peers you may join some kind of group act.” Jim paused and took a deep breath, trying not to snicker into the intercom system.

“The show will be held over the course of five days in Rec Room One, beginning each day at 1400 hours. Please see myself, Mister Spock or Doctor McCoy with any questions. Kirk out.”

Jim rubbed his hands together and cackled gleefully. This was going to be hilarious. He couldn’t wait to see the look on everyone’s faces. Now he just had to figure out how to get the costume he needed.

Four days and counting of the pathetic warbling talents of his brilliant crew and Jim was ready to stab out his eardrums. Jim was afraid his brain was going to start dribbling out of his ears in an effort to get away. Starfleet knew that he wanted to, but if he wanted people to be present for his “talent” he should be a good captain and be present for everyone else’s. He rubbed his hands together and grinned thinking about the next day, but stopped when he realized that he was starting to look like a bad holo-villian.

Day five had been reserved for senior officers. Scotty and his crew went first, having an iron-chef type contest that made Bones grumble about heath regs under his breath. Jim’s cranky boyfriend was too concerned with vegetables to properly appreciate the mouthwatering aroma of a steak wrapped in bacon, deep fried then covered in cheese and gravy. Jim’s stomach rumbled.

Gaila and Uhura did a traditional Orion Belly Dance routine, complete with knife fight at the end. More than a few crew members had to leave the audience to take some private time after that. Jim let them go without calling for a break, even though he’d very much like to pull Bones into a room for a few minutes too, but Spock’s Vulcan Death Glare kept him in his seat.

Jim, Spock and Bones missed Chekov and Sulu’s joint act, but whatever they did received insane applause, so he figured it must have been good. As Jim pulled his costume on he was glad he’d thought to ask Rand to video the whole event so that he could watch it later. Maybe he’d even sell copies, but that was a thought to come back to.

He looked in the mirror and smiled as he applied the final touches to his wig and makeup. The music started as he pasted a huge smile on his face and checked on his backup dancers/singers. Bones and Spock looked mutinous. His smile grew as he stepped out on stage.

****************************************************************

How the fuck did Jim get him to do this? Bones thought as he stood towards the back of the stage, swaying back and forth to keep time while he snapped his fingers and sang backup.

Jim was, of course, front and center on the stage, prancing around as only James Tiberius Kirk could, in a violently pink synth-satin dress, faux diamond jewels and bleached-blonde wig. Bones figured this was something out of a nightmare as he tried not to look into the crowd of his co-workers.

“Li-ving in a material world. Li-ving in a material world.” He monotoned as he glanced at Spock out of the corner of his eye. More to the point, how did Jim convince the hobgoblin to do this? He spun on one foot as Jim came back towards them to be dipped. Bones fought not to roll his eyes.

His hand slipped when Jim jumped into his arms for a lift and his palm slid against Jim’s leg. He almost dropped his deviant boyfriend in shock. He spun Jim close and whispered at him.

“Are you wearing stockings? Did you shave your legs?” He hissed and Jim just winked at him and spun over to Spock. Bones bit the tip of his tongue to keep it in his mouth. He resumed his swaying, snapping and chanting as he glanced at Jim heading back towards the front of the stage. He could see panty lines on Jim’s perky ass.

He savagely bit the inside of his cheek and missed his line. Jim shot him a look and raised an eyebrow at him when he saw the look on his face. Jim swung his hips as he backed into Bones, subtly rubbing his ass against Bones’ front.

“Yes daddy. Panties too.” Bones let out an explosive breath as he got rock hard in his pants. Jim tried to move away, but Bones grabbed his hips and pulled him close as the song ended. Applause rang out from every corner of the rec room, along with a fair number of cat-calls and whistles. He could see Chapel standing on one of the tables in the back as she cheered. Bones cleared his throat.

“And now for one more talent, y’all. I’m gonna make your captain disappear.” He lifted Jim by the hips and backed off stage as fast as he could without tripping over his own feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hannah, please don't ask where this came from. My mind is a strange place. If by the end you didn't know what the song was that Jim chose, please click this link and laugh until you cry like I did.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmbOjpvbCR8


End file.
